when the __________ invade (98-99)

I'll be ready. Well probably not. Most of my life I have lived with irrational fears.
If you are feeling really open minded and I like you ask me about Los Trasgos someday.
Back to irrational fears. When I was eighteen years old I refused to drive anywhere without several days worth of canned food and two changes of clothes. I carried toilet paper in the glove box along with extra forks. I wore combat boots with every outfit. But the nightmares started anyway. All ready with my canned goods to last out the Apocalypse but alas NO CAN OPENER!!!!! I accepted my fate. I was destined to be eliminated for lack of proper planning.
From the ages of nineteen thru twenty I carried a can-opener key chain, just in case.

update

Bellicose Eponymous
--------------------------------
Grow a pair.

I've decided that refers to boobs. Boobs make the world go round. Nobody gets ball augmentation.

COL

If I ever happen to become an unmarried mother, I will name the bastard Eponymous.

END

B.E.T.

After I lost my baby I was depressed. My husband did not like the new depressed me. Since I wasn't going to be having a human baby, DH gave me permission to search for a new four legged baby. I searched and found a Bruno. One of the cutest mutts I ever laid eyes on. Half Bulldog half Boxer and one hundred percent cute. I lugged that pup everywhere with me. Bruno was my human baby substitute. Unfortunately Bruno grew up to be a Dog not a child. Bruno was fine with it but I wasn't. When DH let me have Bruno in place of another chance at a human baby he set a precedent. Next time I asked about trying again . . .I was given permission to get another dog. Next time I was depressed . . .I was given permission to get another dog. Now we have four dogs. Earlier this year it was almost five. Guess what not a single one of these substitute fur children has ever uttered the word Momma and as much as they love me for feeding them they are never going to morph into tiny humans.
Did I mention they fight? They fight till someone bleeds. Did I mention DH doesn't like dogs? He doesn't unless they are not barking, not dirty, not jumping, not moving, not running, not dogs. Yesterday I placed an ad in the local paper, Free to good home. Yup, I couldn't cut it. I'm not a good home. Bruno is the first to go, DH has never liked him. The ad ran this morning and I have already had two calls.
I'm hoping he will be able to find a home with people who won't see him as a compromise or a replacement. People who won't feel resentment when he barks instead of cries. A home where he can be a dog and live with people who let him be just a dog.

Circles

November 7, 2004 = Happiest day of my life.

December 21, 2004 = Second worst day of my life.

November 7, 2007.

I was happy, excited, nervous, terrified. I was filled with a mixture of feverish hope and furious dread. It was a Bi-Polar day. One minute I'm up the next I'm down. It can't be irony or coincidence there has to be a connection. It can't be a random date, it can't be a random number. I can't go through this again. I don't like this ride. The highs are too high, the fall is too far.
the feeling of relief makes me sick. the realization that i would prefer to be low rather than risk a fall from a high makes me cringe.

Something new

I am being overtly friendly. Within reason of course.

Mala Suerte

Death comes in threes. Divorce comes in threes. Bad luck comes in threes.
One down, two to go.