I'm suffocating.

I mean it. I'm not exaggerating. Ok, I'm exaggerating. I'm wearing shoes and socks. I know I'm crazy, right?
I hate wearing shoes. I despise wearing socks and shoes. I feel like I can't catch my breath. Ridiculous I know. I rarely wear shoes. Not at home or at work. I own tons of them but I can't ever seem to keep them on my feet. I can look around my office and spy at least two pairs of shoes that are not currently on my feet. I can scrounge around my car and there will be at least three more pairs of shoes lying about. I have been known to leave my shoes at other people's homes. Not particularly odd but how did I get home without realizing I was barefoot. Dh has on several occasions had to remind me that I can't go shopping/out to eat/to the library without shoes fortunately I usually have a few choices in the car :) Although one particular trip to Houston in dh's car we did have to make an unscheduled stop at Payless.

This place is abound with Thieves and Kidnappers!

So yesterday I noticed Max was missing. Max is my favorite office helper. All of my office helpers have names. Anyway, he was missing. I promptly searched all the shadowy valleys created by the mountains of work I have abandoned. I called his name frantically! I buzzed my cousin at her desk "Did you kidnap Max?!"
Her reply "No! Who is Max?" I hated to refer to him by his job but for the sake of his safety I took a deep breath . . ."My stapler." Max is more efficient and attractive than all the other staplers in the office building. I would go so far as to say the BEST stapler in the whole joint. Without Max and BRSNRK I could not do this job. Anyway, my lying thievish cousin was denying Max's abduction. I promptly forgot about Max for the rest of the day.
This morning I once again had to relive the HORROR of a missing Max. BRSNRK was inconsolable. I berated my lying thieving Max-napping cousin under my breath and was ready to stomp off and confront her when I discovered my new appreciation for the phrase "if it was a snake it would have bitten you."
Fortunately Max would never bite ME.

In case you see this . . .

HI!
I think you are smurf.
If you read this and send me a message that contains the magic word (smurf) I will tell you my name and send you cupcakes.

FIN!

Back piece done! It took two years due to lack of money and lack of time.
I finally finished something. Well maybe not all I really did was sit there.

Two weeks notice.

That is all I get. I hope this works out for him. I hope it is everything he wants it to be.
Personally I've always been a student of the school of thought that ABSENCE makes the heart grow fonder and familiarity breeds contempt. But I've been wrong before.

Furious!

So today is a waiting game. dh is waiting to hear back about an interview that will drastically affect my life.
I haven't had a coke in DAYS and I want breakfast. Longleaf is out of anything that is yummy. Every other item I considered has been defiled by onions. I'm not happy.

I got up on the wrong side

of books this year.
I'm usually an avid reader. I like to read. I'm good at it. I read fast and have a high comprehension level. Come on TEST ME!
BUT this year I have read only two (2) books. I loved both of them. Just couldn't finish the second one, it took me a month. I have started several novels in the past month and I read 15-30 pages then nothing. I have no desire to return! No interest in page 31!
I've been to the library. I've been to the used book store. I browse. I scavenge the shelves and scamper home gleefully with my loot. Start the books but nothing retains my interest. I finally cracked and splurged on NEW books from Amazon.com.
I'm putting quite a few eggs in the Amazon basket. I hope this pans out.